Just be yourself

Another monday morning here in the Netherlands. I woke up really, really early today for some reason, I had some trouble sleeping in a bit before having to get to work today. Lately I have been doing more thinking and feeling rather than writing and expressing and I feel there in lies an imbalance of some sort that I am trying to work out right now. For the last 12 months things have been significantly different, ever-changing and some what restrictive. I have been trying to figure out why that is and what the solution can be. This morning as I wrote my thoughts, wishes and desires out to create the future that I want for myself independent of others, I realized that the main obstacle I have been having is not fully being myself in EVERY situation. I tend to bend to what others expect of me still after so many years of working on this. I feel the need to conform when everything about is non-conforming( not sure if that is even a word but it fits this situation!) The reason why I do this is the fear of rejection, it is clear to me. So this morning I made a few new commitments to myself to just be myself from now on no matter what situation it is. Whether at work, working with the community, friends, family, etc.. It does not matter, cause at the end of the day I have to feel good about how I presented myself and feel good about the things that I have done to contribute to the greater good of this planet...

Ok well with that said, I need to get back to work now :)

Still in love and with gratitude for all that my life is, was and will be.

Asha