Life in Holland has been keeping me quite busy over the last several months. When you are living in a place like this your life tends to go through many phases that you are just never really fully prepared for. So you just ride the waves and hope to God that you make it to the next Island soon.
I recently had the rare opportunity of reconnecting with a special person of my past. He and I were madly in love at one time in our lives about 10 years ago. There was nothing in this world that could have torn us apart.... well of course there ended up being several unforeseen forces. But nevertheless it was one of the happiest relationships I had been in my life. After a great 4 years of time together we parted ways after graduation for me to never see him again .... till 10 years later! The chances of me running into old friends let alone old boyfriends on a different continent seems really unlikely to me, but nevertheless it did in fact occur.
On a recent Saturday morning in Europe, I was quietly sitting and reading the paper when suddenly I felt someone's pressence next to me, a pressence I recognized very well. I looked up and there HE was.. I was all of the sudden taken back 10 years and my heart felt overjoyed. One of the biggest love's of my life stood before me. I wasn't sure what to do initially.
The first hour we sat and talked felt absolutely awkward but after the time passed everything felt back to the normal routine. We had fit together again like puzzle pieces and it felt really comfortable. I could not believe we were getting this opportunity to reunite again. It was like I was living a dream. We talked about our true love affair and our lives over the last 10 years. I have gone through losses and heartaches while he has gone through the loss of himself over the years. We shared laughter and tears over our lives. It was two souls connecting all over again.
I realized that I have grown so much over the years to be able to have this conversatoin with my ex in the way we were talking. I realized that my doubts of ever being able to truly love again are really far from the reality. Seeing him reminded me of my capacity of loving and sharing life with someone. I loved this man very much and was very sad to have lost him 10 years ago. But I asked myself it is was worth it to have loved so hard and to lost so much.... Absolutely!!!
It is worth it to get out there and truly live in our lives. No matter what happens in your life just remember to keep living. Life is worth enjoying and embracing all that you can. Trust me I am living proof of this motto and now I am enjoying myself after alot of heartache in a beautiful new country taking it all in.
This is probably one of the most personal posts I have had in a very long time. Right now my life is turning a corner again and I am not sure again of what is on the other side. But one thing is for sure. I know it is going to be great whatever it is. I thank all of you that write me often and have kept up with my whereabouts and happenings as I have started my new life over here this year.
I wish you all the love you deserve.
Till next time.
In love and in gratitude always
Asha
3 comments:
Thank you for writing about your experiences! I am a huge fan of anyone who takes the time to pen their thoughts and feelings !
I am subscribing to yours.
I understand this emotion well.
I believe the feeling you described in rediscovering your capacity to love through an old flame, but not necessarily with the old flame is a gift we rarely notice or even recieve.
Its clarity where emotional chaos once was.
Its calm acceptance where heady anxieties used to prevail.
Its growth,
and its a wonderful gift when you realize that you have
1) successfully managed an otherwise overwhelming emotion
2) reassured your self-reliance.
It makes you more confident in moving forward...
in that you know you are capable of real happiness and that the journey can be as sweet as the destination.
Nicely put Brad! You are a man that definitely understands what I am talking about here. The journey is the sweetest experience.. the destination is life's magical surprise! :)
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